twang twang twang - MUNICH

More Travel Stuff

Jessica Duchan, of Classical Music Magazine, has got a blog! I was so excited my response to one of her posts was too long, so here it is. It's about tough travel schedules. Read her post at http://jessicamusic.blogspot.com

The best lunatic travel story I know comes from Trevor Ford, who did a session at Abbey Road at 1pm, drove straight to Edinburgh, and played a concert at 8pm. But you're right, travel is an issue. I'm told Julius Drake will only drive himself a maximum of two hours before a recital; otherwise, he gets a train or has somebody drive him. As a harpist, I always have to drive, and drive myself as am surrounded by non-drivers; you really notice it if you do longer than a couple of hours before a difficult programme. Flying is even worse.

Greater recognition that performances would benefit from more relaxed get-ins and outs would be life-changing. Only the other day - when we'd all driven five hours for a recital - a member of the audience reflected that he didn't know musicians had to warm up (much less, maybe stay over the night before).

Today's packed schedules, of course, are unlikely to change, on account of £££ and because they have become the norm. They only could, if there were a huge upsurge in general awareness that what classical musicians do is quite difficult, athletically and psychologically; that you can't just get off a plane and into a concert in the same way as you'd go out to dinner; and that what we do is worth looking after.

There are, however, things that do much to counteract the effects of travel. One hopes that musicians in Barenboim's league get all this as a matter of course: not so, the rest of us, although hallelujah for all those concert organisers who remember us. PROPERLY HEATED concert and rehearsal halls, and dressing rooms - everyone has done recitals in churches so cold you can hardly stay in there for the duration of the rehearsal. A realistic get-in time - not five pm, which only gives you enough time to set up, tune, get changed and go straight on stage. Decent food. Adequate parking arrangements.

Personally I ask for a dressing room no smaller than 20x20 with all-white leather sofas, six bottles of perrier, one bucket of KFC, two Atkins protein bars and fresh flowers (no yellow ones) in the lavatory. Works every time :P

Weird Stuff

A musician's life is that of a wanderer, up hill, down dale, along M1. The upside of all this travel is you get to see lots of weird stuff.

Recent W.S:

-being diverted at midnight through the New Forest, seeing a sign saying "Warning, Animals On Road." I expected the odd pheasant but suddenly all these huge long-haired cattle and massive hairy horses loomed up out of the pitch black

- a piece of modern art encountered at an English stately home, which is made of string and looks like female genitalia four feet by two

- a mosquito bite obtained up a mountain in Trondheim that took six months to go away (obviously even the mozzies are tall and strong and healthy in Scandanavia)

- catalogues for sale in St Petersburg advertising the services of the local prostitutes, very professional with barcodes for each one

- getting trapped in a castle toilet for a long five minutes while an exquisite white peacock unexquisitely shrieked at me. Can't have liked the Andrew Lloyd-Webber

I shall be adding to this post as the concert season continues.

speling

Here's another great moment in the Life of Helen. I get 3 lovely publicity leaflets designed, I write the blurb, select the photos, go to thousands of design meetings, proofread them all multiple times forwards backwards and upside down, they go to the printers, I proofread them again, I shell out loadsamoney, they arrive, they look great, I feel they reflect everything I am trying to do artistically...

except SHAKESPEARE is spelt SHAKSPEARE!!!!
I
Do
Not
Belive
This

"O, I am stabbed with laughter!" !!!!!

Can't find final proof to see if it was my cock-up or the printer's :(

I never could spell, but it's all rather unfortunate, especially as Shakespeare is mentioned in a context where the university saw fit officially to recognise my ShakEspearean prowess, even if I had lifted most of it from a lecture the week before.

To all concert promoters - it wasn't for want of trying, but the forces of nature were against me...and if you spot it, while you're about it, can someone explain to me when you spell PRACTICE and when PRACTISE??? It's getting embarrassing when I write in my pupils' notebooks.

Good to know years of the best education this land affords was all to good effect.

Kitchen Venom

We're having our kitchen done. There is a big hole where our brown seventies units used to be, soon to be replaced by brown noughties units. The guys doing it are great; our landlord generous, so no complaints there, BUT it is impossible to get any work done. La Danse Des Lutins is constantly interrupted in answering the door, issuing parking permits, making tea, inspecting disasters removing the units has uncovered, or otherwise trying to render sweet music against a background of sawing, hammering and Radio 2.

When I am Prime Minister every self employed creative type will get a soundproofed studio free on the NHS, where nothing ever has to be mended, ever. Lavender essential oil will be piped in through the air conditioning to aid concentration and periodically inspiring quotes by people like Menuhin and Erasmus will float hologramatically across the wall.

Anyway it was all OK because just as I was despairing of my Danse my neighbour informed me I'd got a puncture, so I spent the rest of the afternoon sorting that out.