To be a musician is to concern oneself with harmony, resolution and perfect unity, but simultaneously never to have done as we continuously hone the physical, intellectual and emotional processes in which we musick. (My extended essay on this topic, with regard to WH Auden's libretti, will be up as soon as I have finished editing all the bl**dy typos having to scan in my only copy has produced. It has sentences even longer and less elegant than this post's opener). Yehudi Menuhin - one of my heroes along with Shakespeare, Larkin and Jarvis Cocker - titles his autobiography Unfinshed Journey, and there is a wonderful photo near the end of Menuhin "off to work in cloak and hat with baton and scores; the Journey is still Unfinished."
I have been thinking about the musical reaching for perfection whilst always having more to work on a lot recently. I have a great new teacher and stimulating classes at Trinity College of Music, and as a result of these have been working towards new aspects in my technique and musicianship. Sometimes I feel downcast at how long it takes to do anything properly, and how as soon as you've ironed out one problem there is another to be tackled, but I am also exhilarated that at least I am working and moving forward, however slowly.
Menuhin, despite his previous success, put himself through a technical and musical dark night of the soul to become fully conscious of and at peace with his music-making, instead of relying on superficial facility without a considered intellectual back-up. To read in Unfinished Journey of his diligence, humanity and wisdom is deeply humbling and supremely inspiring.
Mid-Menuhin-musings I put in an appearance at a party last night and emerged thereafter into the bedlam that is Leicester Square on a Saturday night. One of a group of three men shoved me out of his way shouting "God, I hate women!" and what with that and the all-around boozing, shrieking, honking, flashing, jeering, brawling and vomiting I went home gloomy about what a piece of work is man.
Menuhin, gentle, humble and so noble a musician, rescues:
"Each human being has the eternal duty of transforming what is hard and brutal into a subtle and tender offering, what is crude into refinement, what is ugly into beauty, ignorance into knowledge, confrontation into collaboration, thereby rediscovering the child's dream of a creative reality incessantly renewed by death, the servant of life, and by life the servant of love".
If I were you I would read this quotation again listening to Menuhin's recording of Beethoven's Spring Sonata, with Kempff.
UPDATE: I will, if I may, also quote Utopian Turtletop, which I came across after writing this post:
"NOCTURNE
Late, late at night, the skies hunker down close, making the houses and trees and cars smaller.
Woke up at 2 this morning to go count homeless people sleeping outside with the Coalition for the Homeless. While I was putting on my shoes I listened to Mieczyslaw Horszowski's rendition of Chopin's Nocturne in E-flat. So, so tender and sweetbitter melancholy.
Someone in a sleeping bag out in the wide open park near the mouth of I-90. Chopin's Nocturne echoing in my mind's ear, seeing someone sleep is so tender and intimate, and the crushing indifference of go-go America to our internal economic exiles. Two people up late talking in their sleeping bags under the I-90 bridge. A man with a backpack walking manically around, flapping his arms, hoping for lift-off. Something, something about bluebirds flying, flying beyond the rainbow. Why can't I?
Home again Finnegan, time for bed and up again soon."